So by mercy from Allah, you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude & harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from you. (Al-Quran – 3. 159)
There is no single principle of good parenting; it is as varied and complex as each parent. The job becomes doubly challenging for Muslim moms as they attempt to tread the fine line between the modern world and Islamic teachings.
While Islamic history highlights Hazrat Khadija, Hazrat Fatima, and Hazrat Bibi Zainab ‘s exemplary motherhood, seeking realistic Islamic parenting advice is often difficult for 21st-century Muslim mothers.
We fear that, in today’s day and age, the teachings of our faith are not implementable. But our deen is full, and you can find guidance if you look closely. To guide the conduct of all followers, Allah has presented Surah Luqman. Moreover, there is no example more prominent for Muslim parents than that of our Prophet.
Hadith tells us of his daughters and grandchildren’s affection and kindness; several instances have been recorded in which the Prophet showered them with hugs and kisses.
Let us see what other things Muslim moms can do to guarantee good parenting, in addition to ensuring love, kindness and respect:
HAVE HONEST INTENTIONS
As parents, we make a lot of choices in our everyday lives. Which cartoon is the best, which storybook to read, which games are ideal, and so on, for example. Our intentions should comply with the teachings of Islam in any parenting decision we take.
Your choices can appear unIslamic to everyone else. No one is perfect. Your purpose is what matters; make sure that the stuff you do will make your child and your Allah happy.
Before allowing your child to see Peppa Pig, for example, ask yourself, will this make Allah happy? Kids love to watch cartoons, and making them watch cartoons is okay, but the cartoons should also be in line with our faith.
Some of the best Islamic cartoons on YouTube include:
- Nasheed for children
- Umar and Hana
- Flowers of Islam
- Islamic cartoons with Zaky
You will learn over time what things work for you. Be sure that those in your parenting style are not copied. Each child is distinctive, and so are the parents. You know your child’s strengths, interests, and dislikes; you can therefore determine what is best for them.
Don’t put yourself in competition with other mothers. According to religion’s teachings, do what you think is right. For fear of standing out or being shunned, many moms living in Western nations find it difficult to practise their religion.
SETTING REALISTIC GOALS
Every mom is fond of being a super mom. Smart moms, though, are those who set practical targets. For eg, if you want your three-year-old in one week to learn all six kalmas, you set yourself up for failure.
For yourself and your children, set small and attainable goals. In one day or even one week, you don’t have to do anything. You build your kids up when you set reasonable goals. You should celebrate their success after they reach the goal, which will make them confident adults.
MAKE EVERY MOMENT SPECIAL
In a flash, childhood passes by; enjoy each moment to make your child feel special and cherished. Know, you have to be the biggest cheerleader for your kids. In order to respect our kids, praise their efforts, and let them know that you understand them, we do not have to wait for milestone events.
Celebrating the first namaz or fast of your child is an exceptional way to reward them for doing something positive that makes Allah happy. But don’t wait for these experiences to be enjoyed once in a lifetime, make your child feel special everyday.
STAY IN THE PRESENT
Being a Muslim mother, you have to believe in Allah firmly. Believe that Allah will allow you to handle while you plan for your children’s future needs. Allah will make it happen, whether it be tuition costs or marriage. Keep in the moment, and for each little thing, thank Allah. Don’t be concerned with what is going to happen or what has already happened; be thankful to Allah and enjoy all that you have right now.
PRACTISE GOOD CONDUCT
The meaning of modelling actions is known to Muslim moms. The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) taught the Muslims the true meaning of life; through his practise, he showed the teachings of Islam so that others could benefit from observing him.
This provides us with a lesson that it is important to model actions to motivate the desired action. For example, we should practise it first if we want our children to give prayers five times a day.
Similarly, we should be respectful to our elders, treat everyone with kindness, practice charity, and be good neighbors so that our children learn from example.
Islam teaches us the meaning, regardless of age or status, of apologies. When things go out of control, it is common to lose your temper from time to time. Similarly, apologizing when you’re wrong will improve your relationship with kids. Let the kids know the meaning of sorry and maintain a friendly relationship with them.
Parenting is a tough challenge, but you are golden if you stay aware of your actions and make sure that you do not do something that is against the teaching of Islam. Remember, you can’t keep all under control. Do the best that you can, and leave the rest to Allah.