Can sanctity and extravagance coexist at a wedding?

The beauty of marriage appears to have been supplanted by a focus on the wedding’s material aspects, which has become a source of great concern and stress for many people.

Some individuals believe that because the wedding ceremony is a once-in-a-lifetime event, it should be lavishly funded. As a result, we frequently hear people justifying the exorbitance by stating things like “this is a once in a lifetime event,” “it is the most important occasion in one’s life,” “the happiest moment of one’s life,” and so on.

Marriage is, without a doubt, one of the most important events in one’s life. However, the most “special event” does not have to be the most “expensive event.”

Marriage is an institution that helps in the growth of new generations. In Islam, a man and a woman’s marriage contract is viewed as a natural yet solemn legal foundation for a healthy and loving family bond.

The relationship between spouses is, without a doubt, one of the most amazing of all human partnerships. The delight and comfort of marriage are incomprehensible because of the love and affection, intimacy and closeness, married with patience and dedication, obligation and responsibility, and mercy in the face of flaws. The wedding marks the beginning of all of this.

When you hear the word “wedding,” images of gatherings of friends and family, delectable cuisine, a beaming bride, a well-dressed bridegroom, and an amusing and delightful party spring to mind.

However, the perception of what a wedding should be has shifted dramatically in recent years. It has been reduced to a chore for some, a business project for others, or worse, a family competition for others. There are exorbitantly priced wedding halls, special beauty parlours, bridal boutiques, and wedding planners who guarantee “everlasting memories” at even more exorbitant prices.

Now, those items aren’t in and of themselves a problem, but there is a lot of social pressure on families who can’t afford them to act as if they can, which often leads to debt, conflict, and hardship.

People take out large sums merely to throw a grandiose celebration. Some people even sell their valuable possessions, such as plots, houses, and automobiles, in order to hold a grandiose wedding party.

Many people believe that if they don’t have an extravagant and lavish wedding party and invite a large number of people, or if they don’t outdo their neighbour or friend, they will lose respect.

Bridegrooms who have to sell their valuables, such as vehicles, to satisfy the pressing demands of the wedding ceremony are not uncommon. For their daughter’s wedding, a family I know sold practically all of their assets and had the most extravagant wedding party in town. They are still dealing with the financial consequences of that extravagant wedding ceremony almost ten years later.

We are much more concerned about the massive party and keeping our so-called status than we are about the future partner and the impending life. Unfortunately, many low-income parents put off getting their children married because they feel pressured by society to host a large party complete with a “honeymoon.”

After all, the amount of money spent on the ceremony has little bearing on the couple’s future. It will not provide the couples happiness, mutual understanding, closeness, patience, or love.

Instead, in some circumstances, the couple is forced to live with debt for several years. And the early years of their marriage pass with them paying off their debts.

We are much more concerned about the massive party and keeping our so-called status than we are about the future partner and the impending life. Unfortunately, many low-income parents put off getting their children married because they feel pressured by society to host a large party complete with a “honeymoon.”

After all, the amount of money spent on the ceremony has little bearing on the couple’s future. It will not provide the couples happiness, mutual understanding, closeness, patience, or love.

Instead, in some circumstances, the couple is forced to live with debt for several years. And the early years of their marriage pass with them leading a happy life.

The wedding party in Islam is kept very basic and sensible. The notion at the heart of the Islamic wedding reception is sometimes expressed as “the less needless spending, the more blessings.”

As a result, the lack of money or a lavish ceremony should not overshadow the sacredness or significance of marriage and the wedding party. Extravagance should not be a justification for young men and women to marry after they have reached their prime.

In Islam, marriage is solemnised through a Nikah (marriage contract) and a Walima (reception) following the consummation of the marriage.

Because marriage is, after all, a joyous occasion, the reception is essentially a feast to celebrate the marriage. A man is also required to invite others to it according to the Sunnah.

However, the argument that it is only once in a lifetime and that the tradition of reception allows us to spend excessively should not be used as a justification to overspend. Extravagance is considered wrong and is blameworthy in all circumstances, whether related to marriage or not.

In fact, Allah has forewarned us against squandering Allah’s gifts: