Parents Or Spouse?

~ Question ~

My wife and my mother do not have a good relationship, they don’t speak to each other. I am still in contact with my family and now, my mother has given me an utimatum to choose between my wife or my family. Please advise me on what could be done as I don’t want to lose either of them.

~ Answer ~

This is one of the most common issues within our society that causes a lot of distress and spilitting of families. Its mostly unaddressed small issues that get bigger due to egos, grudges and lack of trust which ultimately leads to divorces.

The Islamic family system is based on love, trust, patience, devotion and respect for all family members. It also encourages asking for forgiveness from the elderly even if we are right sometimes to show them that we value them and it advises the elderly to forgive the young.

My advice to you would be to discuss the situation amongst family members and to involve respectful elders within the conversation to find the best possible solution to live together as a family. 

Allah knows best

Imam Amjad Aziz Al-Azhari